At a time when India and Indians should worry more about getting the medals (mostly Bronze, coz Gold will be snatched away by their wives and turned into jewelry), one Ms. Madhura is hogging the limelight for all the wrong reasons.
Or is it the right ones? I get confused so often these days.
Her brazen acts have inspired this shabby article - which, somehow, I hope is a tad less shabby than our prep for London2012.
So, here it goes, darlings. Don't procrastinate your entry into the world's biggest sporting event - for which millions are fighting for *empty* seats! (Check out the ticket trouble stories on the Web to know why seats went empty.)
Tip #1: Don't participate in a sport. No, never. Else, you'll be an invited guest and will miss the fame (or notoriety, take your pick) that comes with gatecrashing. Apparently, that's what keeps a lot of Delhiites in particular, Sheila Dikshit in very particular, and Indians in general from "coming out and playing."
Tip #2: Wear a red top. I'm sorry. I have a short memory. I can't remember Madhura's face but I certainly do remember that she wore a red, very very red, top.
Tip #3: Contact Danny Boyle. For his dance troupes can do a lot of extra calisthenics - apart from doing their bit in opening ceremonies. Now, don't ask me if contacting the Slumdog director is more difficult than slumming it out to break into Olympic venues. That's for you to figure out.
Tip #4: Pre-inform the Indian media about your impending adventure - and promise to give the story to whoever has the widest reach or promises back the best, consistent and repeated coverage. You see, most media guys are getting bored of repeated scams tumbling out of the incumbent government (which is hell-bent on producing them, somehow - never minding those Anna fasts demanding anti-corruption measures). They are really anxious to cover other interesting stuff happening around.
After all, what fun would gatecrashing be if the world can't get to see you in your favorite red top marching happily alongside a (mostly) incompetent contingent of athletes!
What's more, the media that goes along with your plans might even help you a bit (isn't their motto "Anything for a story" these days?)
Tip #5: Actually, there's no fifth tip. But I hated to begin the article with anything less than a list of five, which kind of seemed rounded. But hey, why don't I offer you a deal, like they do at Nirula's or Baskin-Robbins? Taking a cue from their creative sundaes, why don't you make your own tip!? Remember, you'll require a lot of imagination and ingenuity to break into the coveted rings.
Best of luck. And don't blame me if you still can't gatecrash!
Or is it the right ones? I get confused so often these days.
Her brazen acts have inspired this shabby article - which, somehow, I hope is a tad less shabby than our prep for London2012.
So, here it goes, darlings. Don't procrastinate your entry into the world's biggest sporting event - for which millions are fighting for *empty* seats! (Check out the ticket trouble stories on the Web to know why seats went empty.)
Tip #1: Don't participate in a sport. No, never. Else, you'll be an invited guest and will miss the fame (or notoriety, take your pick) that comes with gatecrashing. Apparently, that's what keeps a lot of Delhiites in particular, Sheila Dikshit in very particular, and Indians in general from "coming out and playing."
Tip #2: Wear a red top. I'm sorry. I have a short memory. I can't remember Madhura's face but I certainly do remember that she wore a red, very very red, top.
Tip #3: Contact Danny Boyle. For his dance troupes can do a lot of extra calisthenics - apart from doing their bit in opening ceremonies. Now, don't ask me if contacting the Slumdog director is more difficult than slumming it out to break into Olympic venues. That's for you to figure out.
Tip #4: Pre-inform the Indian media about your impending adventure - and promise to give the story to whoever has the widest reach or promises back the best, consistent and repeated coverage. You see, most media guys are getting bored of repeated scams tumbling out of the incumbent government (which is hell-bent on producing them, somehow - never minding those Anna fasts demanding anti-corruption measures). They are really anxious to cover other interesting stuff happening around.
After all, what fun would gatecrashing be if the world can't get to see you in your favorite red top marching happily alongside a (mostly) incompetent contingent of athletes!
What's more, the media that goes along with your plans might even help you a bit (isn't their motto "Anything for a story" these days?)
Tip #5: Actually, there's no fifth tip. But I hated to begin the article with anything less than a list of five, which kind of seemed rounded. But hey, why don't I offer you a deal, like they do at Nirula's or Baskin-Robbins? Taking a cue from their creative sundaes, why don't you make your own tip!? Remember, you'll require a lot of imagination and ingenuity to break into the coveted rings.
Best of luck. And don't blame me if you still can't gatecrash!
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