5 Quick Tips to Gatecrash the Olympics

At a time when India and Indians should worry more about getting the medals (mostly Bronze, coz Gold will be snatched away by their wives and turned into jewelry), one Ms. Madhura is hogging the limelight for all the wrong reasons.

Or is it the right ones? I get confused so often these days.

Her brazen acts have inspired this shabby article - which, somehow, I hope is a tad less shabby than our prep for London2012.

So, here it goes, darlings. Don't procrastinate your entry into the world's biggest sporting event - for which millions are fighting for *empty* seats! (Check out the ticket trouble stories on the Web to know why seats went empty.)

Tip #1: Don't participate in a sport. No, never. Else, you'll be an invited guest and will miss the fame (or notoriety, take your pick) that comes with gatecrashing. Apparently, that's what keeps a lot of Delhiites in particular, Sheila Dikshit in very particular, and Indians in general from "coming out and playing."

Tip #2: Wear a red top. I'm sorry. I have a short memory. I can't remember Madhura's face but I certainly do remember that she wore a red, very very red, top.

Tip #3: Contact Danny Boyle. For his dance troupes can do a lot of extra calisthenics - apart from doing their bit in opening ceremonies. Now, don't ask me if contacting the Slumdog director is more difficult than slumming it out to break into Olympic venues. That's for you to figure out.

Tip #4: Pre-inform the Indian media about your impending adventure - and promise to give the story to whoever has the widest reach or promises back the best, consistent and repeated coverage. You see, most media guys are getting bored of repeated scams tumbling out of the incumbent government (which is hell-bent on producing them, somehow - never minding those Anna fasts demanding anti-corruption measures). They are really anxious to cover other interesting stuff happening around.

After all, what fun would gatecrashing be if the world can't get to see you in your favorite red top marching happily alongside a (mostly) incompetent contingent of athletes!

What's more, the media that goes along with your plans might even help you a bit (isn't their motto "Anything for a story" these days?)

Tip #5: Actually, there's no fifth tip. But I hated to begin the article with anything less than a list of five, which kind of seemed rounded. But hey, why don't I offer you a deal, like they do at Nirula's or Baskin-Robbins? Taking a cue from their creative sundaes, why don't you make your own tip!? Remember, you'll require a lot of imagination and ingenuity to break into the coveted rings.

Best of luck. And don't blame me if you still can't gatecrash!

How Secure Can You Be?

Security is not a destination but a constantly moving target. And the trick for solution providers and enterprises is to move faster than the 'enemy'

With due apologies to the uber brands of the automobile world, there are only two types of mass-market cars (considered from a certain standpoint): those that have some security products installed and those with just plain vanilla, factory-fitted locks. Then, even among the ‘secured’ ones, there’s an entire cornucopia of fitments – gear locks, ‘hockey sticks’, central locking...the works.

Nevertheless, both types of cars get stolen.

But if I were to ask you, Which cars get stolen more often and in greater numbers? you would promptly answer the question without consulting the stolen-vehicle investigation department.

Just as we try and secure our assets in the physical world (but often end up losing them), so it is in the more subtle realm of information flow. Companies can use the best antivirus on the market, set up advanced firewalls or configure multiple layers of authentication, but they may still not attain foolproof security.

Having said that, organizations have no option but to try as many ways to protect critical information – their life-blood in today’s competitive world – as possible. And keep at it relentlessly, because security is not a destination but a constantly moving target. The growing crop of thieves, hackers and anonymous groups lurking in the darkest corners of cyberspace are always ready to raise the bar for security vendors and solution providers by launching more and more sophisticated attacks (sometimes with alarming success).

Consider the enormity and reach of some recent security attacks. Around a year back, as many as 77 million Sony PlayStation Network accounts were hacked, resulting in loss of millions of dollars to the company as its site went down for a month. Even the top purveyors of security like RSA and VeriSign were not immune: RSA's parent company EMC is said to have spent over $60 million on “remediation” when a series of “spear-phishing attacks” were launched against its employees. In VeriSign's case, there was a debate about the extent of damage resulting from unauthorized access to the company's servers. But the point is, no-one is spared when it comes to security breaches.  

In the future, the problem is only going to get compounded, what with the wider adoption of social media, and trends such as Bring Your Own Device (BYOD) and enterprise mobility. Put this together with the increasing sophistication of Advanced  Persistent Threats (APTs) and organized crime syndicates – and you have a recipe for disastrous breaches.

There are some in the industry who think that adopting measures such as retina scans, fingerprinting and other biometrics will stem the tide of attacks. But there are experts who dismiss such claims. For instance, Professor Steffen Schmidt, co-author of the book The Silent Crime: What You Need to Know About Identity Theft, is of the view that identify theft will only increase with technological advances.

I think we are going to have more security but never enough of it. The only thing to be sure is that, in the fast-moving cavalcade of security, there will be no time for applying brakes.